Obama Pyjama

It's 12:07 pm on the twentieth of January 2009. The capitol is thronged - everywhere is a song, and a celebration! The acid reign of George the third has just, finally, come to a well deserved end. That is cause enough right there for rejoicing from one end of the globe to the other. But what is really being celebrated?

Since November 4 simple minded rhetoric about how it's historic a black man had been erected to the presidency of the United States, soon would be moving into the White House, a government structure built by slaves, far from being a sign racial strife which has divided the country for over two centuries is ending, instead proves race is still a crucial factor in the way Americans perceive themselves.

Why so "historic" that Mr. Obama has the darkest skin of any American president so far? Do people in the twenty-first century still think that matters? Why isn't it historic a worldly, intelligent adult is taking over from a cloistered, puerile nincompoop? Why isn't it historic an honest person is taking over from a cabal of career criminals? Why isn't it historic a man is taking over from a crew of shape shifting reptilian interlopers? Why should America be so content with comparing the new president to all his predecessors solely on the basis of a superficial characteristic none of them could help having? Because comparing his virtues and abilities too admiringly with the outgoing gang of murderers, torturers, thieves and liars is "looking back", and looking back would likely lead to prosecution of some still very powerful people for war crimes and treas... 

Look at the black president everyone! He's a credit to his race. Once you've had Barack you never look back!

Barack has a long row to ho, but his candidacy and election have already covered a lot of ground. The most immediate result of Obama's successful presidential bid is resurrection of Americans' trust in the electoral system. Conspirators operating the shadow government realized the American people, indeed the world, would not respond at all well to a third palpably stolen presidential election in a row, so they had the Republican party field a visibly damaged and aging candidate, then burdened the campaign with a patent wing-nut for his running mate. Even though they did commit token ballot suppression, it could only be expected such a ticket would end up also ran. Can the American public be so facile as to believe simply because the guy they wanted was allowed to win the election that it was honest? Is it so unbecredible they threw the fight?

For Mr. Obama inherits a terrible mess that is entirely of their making: the war, the economy, the surveillance, the environment, all of which is still under the control of the military industrial complex. Why would the NEOcons WANT to remain in office? It's so visible - embarrassing! The previous occupant, when asked if he had made any mistakes during his term replied It's a disappointment there were no weapons of mass destruction [for which he once cutely searched underneath Oval Office couch]. Ow! Maybe the new president will be more furniture fortunate? 

Not only is the public's trust in elections restored, but trust in the entire institution of government is restored. Having given junior a chance for eight full years only to have him screw things up royally, Americans are withholding criticism of the incoming regime in order to give president Obama a chance to deliver on his pledge for change. And if you don't, it will be your fault when it all goes to hell in a handcart. Oh, and you're a racist too. Despite piecemeal promises of a camp closing and a troop redeployment, it looks as if things won't change fast or far with the new president announcing more surge for the war and more splurge for the banks. Yes he can!

Most significantly the American people, well, 84% of them, believe in Ding dong the Witch is dead! Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! All the little munchkins are running around gleefully hugging and kissing each other in jubilation that the dark.. uh.. white forces of the evil empire have been dealt a stunning defeat; tonight they can don their PJs and return to the fitless slumber of their hard won complacency.

Reverend Doktor C. Sarian

Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia

Church of the SubGenius