It's Grim

In the town of Fuck You Jim, it’s looking pretty grim. Workers are pulled back as blue flashes are seen, indicating runaway chain reaction of fissionable materials. Already two workers have been found dead as hundreds of others remain on kamikaze duty at the Daiichi plant: Kazuhiko Kokubo, 24, and Yoshiki Terashima, 21, gave their lives in a desperate attempt to save the world from an even greater catastrophe. TEPCO is offering big cash bonuses, up to 10,000 yen (about $47 US) and valuable prizes including lifetime supply of KI for survivors of any who are willing to martyr themselves on behalf of humanity at the altar of this modern day Mammon. As the plume of lethal radioactivity, universally characterized as “miniscule”, “tiny”, “insignificant”, “no worse than normal”, spreads across the U.S. in a Japanese variation of Moctezuma’s revenge, few Americans are willing to take up that gauntlet for their country, or fellow citizens. In Washington however, the EPA responded swiftly to the disaster by dutifully increasing legal levels of radiation exposure a thousand-fold to reduce the level of GE’s exposure to legal liability.

Meanwhile, the Obomba administration is preoccupied with a preplanned expansion of the Long War into yet another oil rich nation inhabited by towelheads. To be fair, that’s what these assouls do all day - plan wars. So it is no surprize when a conflict flares up they are standing by with flares and all the other sundries necessary to force Pax Americana down the throats of benighted primitives reluctant to obey new world orders. More significant however, is these war plans are unfolding right on schedule. U.S. client dictators are given free reign to brutalize their people with U.S. supplied military hardware. Local militias, supported by clandestine operations, become convinced they have a chance against authoritarian regimes. Corporate/government plays one side off on the other to see who winds up occupying the wellheads while hapless civilians, caught in the crossfire, die in droves in their hometowns, now polluted forever by radioactive weaponry.

Hot snow is falling across New England and the debate over global warming cools off. THAT’s insignificant now! Some wag once declared The only fair way to deal with radioactive waste is to spread it around evenly everywhere. Fair’s fair! Those who, like Kazuhiko and Yoshiki, are ill adapted physically for a high rad environment will be affected, but it’s no worse than dying. Everyone dies! It’s just a matter of days, not decades.

Reverend Doktor C. Sarian

Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia

Church of the SubGenius

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