Coincidence Theory

"Great nations are simply the operating fronts of behind-the-scenes, vastly ambitious individuals who had become so effectively powerful because of their ability to remain invisible while operating behind the national scenery." - Buckminster Fuller

Bucky, that’s bunkum! The notion that wealthy, powerful people confer in clandestine conclaves to control the course of coming events is monstrous nonsense. Wealthy, powerful people hardly even know each other! Besides, they’re not on speaking terms. Supposing social elites share common concerns and operate in common cause is ridiculous delusion of commoners. Their conspiracies about the fabric of social order amount to domestic terrorism.

Coincidence theory sees no cause and effect from policy to event. Policy is strictly after-the-fact, whack-a-mole reaction to unforeseen occurrences forming no intelligible pattern. Coincidence is passive, it happens; whereas conspiracy involves active participation. The coincidence theorist’s Why would they do that?? astonishment at the suggestion sinister forces act in concert is unarguable, if specious rhetorical armor against indictment of collusion between miscreant co-parties. Facile to attribute conspiracy to gang bangers and crime cartels, the rubric is unsuitable for corporate/government - they don’t conspire, they act in partnership. Symbiosis between speculators, legislators and regulators is normal, natural, and benign as morning sunshine. 

Disturbing as may be financial upset, societal discord, ecosystem collapse, rampant contagion, and global war, at least it’s no one’s fault. Bad things just happen coincidentally in an all-above-board, roll-the-dice, pay-your-dues, level-playing-field world. Pervasive bank fraud, envenomed psychotic populations, extracted natural resources, designer disease agents, and monetized military mayhem are so deeply disturbing the only viable alternative to ignorance is insanity. It is more comforting by far to presume war is an intrinsic force of human nature than to perceive war as extrinsic: a Machiavellian machination to entrain, exploit and eliminate humanity, perpetrated by inhumans. Whoa! That’s a conspiracy theory! 

Originally coined as agitprop by letter-agencies in the wake of black-ops gone wild, “conspiracy theory” is truncated to “conspiracy”, which has come to mean the feverish nightmare of a clinical paranoid, a conveniently deflective tag for the inspired concept that conspirators conspire. Apart from casting aspersions on those few who question validity of TV news, it has the effect of muddying the waters, making qualitative analysis practically impossible. One wag went all the way, proclaiming: “It is no longer a conspiracy!” Why? Because as it turns out, there WAS a conspiracy!

Whether businessmen, clerics, politicians and soldiers gather in cozy little dens of iniquity to hatch plots of domination is but a tiny grain on the broad beach, a frosty crystal on the mountain peak, a single drop in the ocean deep that is the CONspiracy - the Conspiracy Of Normals. The CON is not a covert coffee-klatch of common criminals. Far from it! The CON exists as an interactive neural net connecting the minds of all Pink humans. It is a mental matrix of imprinting from potty training to computer programming, upgraded with aluminum adjuvants resonating to 5G microwave radiation. The fundamental tenet of the CONspiracy is CONformity. Like a drone swarm, Pinks do whatever they want, as long as everyone else does it too. Further from normal, the further from CONspiracy diktat one wonders, the closer to conspiracy theorist, or more succinctly conspiracist, one drifts. Obfuscation around what constitutes conspiracy is a tool of the CONspiracy to self-repair the blissful Elysium of oblivion in which Pinks prefer to persist. They fear the weather, they fear each other, but they don’t fear Big Brother.

Don’t worry! There’s no big scheme; conspiracy is only a meme. Nobody is planning to hurt you!Be sensible - CONformity is virtue. Relax! There’s no malevolence, it’s just a big coincidence.

Reverend Doktor C. Sarian

Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia

Church of the SubGenius

122620