At The Movies

No one believes movies to be accurate representations of reality. Even the most gritty, realistic depictions maintain a facade of conventional fakery viewers naturally take for granted. It is always full Moon in the movies, everyone has perfect teeth, everything is sparkling clean, all phone numbers are in the 555 exchange. Documentaries with live footage are fact-redacted by framing, editing and captioning. Mature viewers know much is left unrevealed, but not how much.

Not only for entertainment purposes, movies are also advertising - through product placement. Some independent films show shelves stocked with, and characters using generic labeled products: BEER, CEREAL, DETERGENT (check out Repo Man). However, producers of Hollywood blockbusters would not dream of creating a feature without making sweetheart deals with manufacturers. This not-so-subliminal messaging is more mind control. Images of name-brand logos on groceries, autos, businesses enhance verisimilitude while boosting sales. 

Other than products, movies sell attitudes, fears and mores. Though righteously frightened by high wierdness, decent movie folk maintain civility amidst chaos in cinematic surreality. However dire the circumstances, or widespread the destruction, the story invariably resolves with resumption of suburbia, and continuity of governance. 

Over all, movies present Normalization of Deviance as both comedy, and tragedy. Practically every movie has a vomit scene. Practically every movie has a rape scene. Practically every movie has a scene of driving into opposing traffic. Practically every movie includes murder of a victim who “deserved it”. 

While assiduously veiling intimate lovemaking, movies brazenly embrace idiot values of rage, acquisitiveness, compliance, selfishness, jealousy, vengefulness, ignorance, helplessness, subservience, wastefulness. Movies are prefaced with elaborate disclaimers that producers do not necessarily endorse the actions or opinions of the characters in their products. Nevertheless, pervasive repetition of CONspiracy themes lowers mental thresholds to anti-social behavior, resulting in media-induced mass psychosis.

Amid the commonality of such deviance in mass media, no product or behavior enjoys the utter ubiquity of drink. I need a drink! Can I buy you a drink? Fix yourself a drink. Where can I get a drink? You look like you could use a drink! Would you like a drink? I could use a stiff drink! Why not come up for a drink? are sprinkled liberally into screenplays like cheese on a New York pizza. Chick flics, horror, western, action, sci-fi – makes no difference. Drink drink drink! Many movies have drinking in nearly every scene. Drinkers are depicted as upstanding individuals who may on occasion become humorously tipsy, but never totally out-of-hand. Message? There’s nothing the matter with drinking – it’s normal! EVERYone does it! The ravage and ruin of chronic acute alcoholism are not in the script. 

While drinking is promoted in movies, other drugs are repugned. Heroin users are depicted as dirty, desperate, dishonest, degenerates destined for overdose. Marijuana smokers are shown as silly, stoned-out slobs stupidly certain it is acceptable to behave inappropriately. By contrast, in many, many movies a professional protagonist takes a drink, then takes a life. And it is perfectly all right.

Not hard to understand – the lords of war are drinkers, chronic alcoholics, booze addicts, no more in control of themselves than any addict, and they will not be traduced. No WONder the world is speeding out of control! Drunks are doing the driving!

Reverend Doktor C. Sarian

Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia

Church of the SubGenius 

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